Friday, 7 June 2013

You Are Beautiful

Every day I tell my girls they are beautiful, that I believe in them and that they can do anything they set their mind to. Every day I try and bring their self confidence up, to help them see themselves as the amazing people they are. It is so hard though, to teach self confidence, when you have such a small amount for yourself.

It is like trying to teach someone how to make cheese sauce when you have only seen the prep work done and never made it yourself. A rather difficult challenge for sure. How are you supposed to accomplish such a crazy feat?

By telling them exactly what you wish someone had said to you growing up and telling YOURSELF you are beautiful.

Say it when people aren't looking, say it when they are. Make yourself believe it.

Thursday, 6 June 2013

A Failure

I am going to admit something, something that has been plaguing me since I had children. I feel like a failure.

A complete and utter failure.

I love my children with all my heart and soul but I feel like I can never do anything right with them. I did all the research before they were born, decided to breastfeed, cloth diaper and co-sleep. Yet I do one thing so often and I want to stop but I just can't: I yell.

This yelling has been happening for a while now and it seems I am stuck in a yelling rut that I just can't get out of. I see how it hurts my girls, I have seen how they are both starting to just yell at me instead of properly communicating. The yelling stresses me out, which in turn makes me yell even more. And then I end up getting to the point where all I want to do is have some time away from my girls. AND THEN I feel even worse because moms aren't supposed to feel that way. Moms are supposed to be perfect, never get frazzled.

I try and do my best but I still feel like Im failing. Im failing my girls, and I fear that when they are older and they look back on their childhood they only remember the yelling, and the stress. Will they remember the good times? Will they know how much I love them and that Im doing the best I can?

What will they remember?...